She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
