theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Randomize
