Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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