I just made out with a guy for $7.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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