omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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