you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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