Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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