champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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