Whod you bang
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
