So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
we should paint friendship bongs
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