She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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