well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
He felt like a one man threesome
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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