did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
