Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Randomize
