just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize