You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
