Rock
Scissors
Fuck
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
