I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
