So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
