I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
