Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
