He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Randomize
