Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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