Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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