is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
that's an acceptable place to lick
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
