He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize