Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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