He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
