just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I understand Curling. That high.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Randomize
