I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Be still, my beating vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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