your thong is hanging out like whoa
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
another moral hangover. fuck.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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