I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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