booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
