...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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