I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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