Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
