North Korea, Best Korea!
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
