I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
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