That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
