after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
