dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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