isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Randomize
