But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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