is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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