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I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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