just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
