So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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