please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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