Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
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