nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
