I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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