Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
