where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
