just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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