wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
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