OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize