weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
Randomize