She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Someone shattered a urinal.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
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